Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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