I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
