If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Damn victory sex feels great
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
