I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
