She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
