i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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