You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
