I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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