There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
