Nicole vs. Life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
being pregnant is like rehab
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
