i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
