I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
