sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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