I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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