there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
