I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
