you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
