she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
