I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
