Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
