sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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