Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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