so explain again why im purple
no
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
