I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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