get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
