Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
