i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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