Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
