Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
