Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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