Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
