Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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