Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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