She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The Olympian is in my bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
