I wanna passion pit in your ass
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
