I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
