Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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