i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
