i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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