the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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