This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
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