2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
