OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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