she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
