I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
