i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
