Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Did I show you my penis last night?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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