we're blogging at a bar
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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