Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
