I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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